Bookend Generation

Are you taking care of your parents and also your children?? You, my dear, are the bookend generation.

Who would have ever thought that you would be in this situation? I sure didn't, but am. I always felt that I raised my mom and I know I am not alone in this one. My younger brother was my laughing buddy; boy, could we get in to trouble just for laughing!

With our parents living longer, it looks like we had better think twice about 'sizing down' when our children go off to college. In not too distant a future, we all will need a bedroom bath Downstairs. Then when the kids come home to visit, with their children, now, we will need to add another room and bath to the home we thought was too big and empty!!

My Mother, going on 86, fell and broke her left wrist and now she is in a hospital bed, in the middle of my living room. It was exactly a year ago that this same living room was her hospital room, after she endured surgery. She cannot live in her own apartment because she cannot yet, take care of herself with that full arm cast. I am blessed to have my first born daughter live with me and thus, the title for this blog.

As I sit here in my office area of my home, both my Mother and daughter are watching a Disney flick and I am typing my thoughts to you.

I am finding that I am climbing my stairs a little slower myself, and the thought of having to live with my children is a thought that I absolutely do not want to consider. Guess, I will just have to get physically active and keep my body as healthy as possible (having already survived cancer) I have not been as active as I used to be and I can feel my bones stiffening up.

I watch my Mother get around and marvel at her grace in accepting her age and slow moving body. Her skin is terrific; hardly a wrinkle in her face. She loves me to fix her hair into a short style (I cut it and color it). She is refusing to go grey! So last week with her left arm in a cast and her head bent into my kitchen sink, we got her a new dew. Ha! At least she is not complaining and being a difficult patient.

How are you handling yourself, with your "seniors" in your life? Are you impatient with them? Short tempered? Are you seeing, perhaps, any unfinished business from childhood pop up?? Yup, I have been there too, but in the end, if we live that long, we too, will need the care and love of our children, even if we cannot see ourselves living with them now.

I guess that is the beauty of life; the "cycle" of it all. Sooner or later, it all comes around and we get to look back and relive it, either with Joy of our choices, or disdain for them. So, what to do?? Make the choices today, you will enjoy tomorrow.

I have a lot more work to do on myself and I am doing that. There is a great site that you may want to check out for yourself: google in Byron Katie and watch her as she does "The Work." 4 simple questions that cause you to inquire your thoughts. Wow! This has really helped me.
Catching my thought and actually questioning it, before it leads me into creating more of my past.

I have her CD's in my car and listen to them as I drive. I am ever so grateful to myself for being patient with me. I no longer beat myself up mentally with the "should haves" or "could haves" of my past. Whatever I did, or thought, or however I acted, is just that..... in the past. I am now here, in my home in Las Vegas, with my Mother and daughter.

So, how about you? Look at your children and imagine living with them in their home. It is not them living with you; but you living with them. Are you raising them to be the adults that you can live with??? Ha! That's a great question, and one that will soon live out the answer.

If you have a parent or senior living with you, are you gentle with them and yourself, remembering that they are where you will be, soon enough.

God Bless you in your life and may you always (in all ways) remember to be grateful for it all, because, You are all of it.